Batman and the Problems of Being a Father
Adopting kids and using them to fight crime. It’s not going to get you father of the year. And yet, Batman provides us with some important lessons about being a father.
Father’s Day approaches with an opportunity to reflect on our fathers. To thank them for what they gave us and forgive them for being human (if we can). And if you are a father yourself, it’s also a moment to reflect on the joys and challenges of being a father.
Being a brooding vigilante of crime ridden city and being conscripted to fight crime is probably not among the things you might be reflecting on. Probably a good thing.
However, Batman provides us with an opportunity to reflect on the mistakes and the challenges of being a father.
Batman isn’t a natural father. His upbringing was difficult. After losing his parents at a young age he is raised by his employee which throws out the parent/child dynamic.
As young man growing up, Bruce Wayne has incredible wealth and opportunity, but would have given it all up to be reunited with his parents. It is the absence of his parents that drives him to become Batman. But if his parents weren’t killed, he was likely to be challenging child.
All credit to Alfred, he is never just an employee. And can you imagine the struggle of trying to bring up the man who would become Batman? Insane.
As a parent himself, Batman’s approach is different. Currently, Batman has three adopted sons (Dick Grayson, Jason Todd and Tim Drake) and a biological son (Damian Wayne). None of these were straightforward experiences of parenthood.
Dick Grayson
Dick is Batman’s first Robin. Bruce adopts Dick because he witnesses the death of Dick’s parents. For Bruce, the very immediate experience of seeing a child lose his parents makes him act.
Batman is able to give Robin a purpose from a young age. He is able to guide Dick through the pain and anger of his experience and to challenge it into a purpose.
The result is Dick becomes the leader of the Teen Titans and eventually changes from Robin to Nightwing. And Nightwing is one of the nicest and most likeable characters the the DC universe.
Jason Todd
It might seem like Jason is similar to Dick, but there are huge differences. They have both lost their parents, but Jason’s father was a criminal and Jason has been living on the streets when Batman encounters him trying to steal the wheels off the Batmobile.
Bruce supports Dick through tragedy. Batman ushers Jason into crime fighting. And Jason is motivated, but he’s also angry and reckless. Jason and Bruce argue and Jason is led into a situation where (spoiler) the Joker kills him in the iconic crowbar scene.
After trying to exact his revenge on Batman, Jason eventually becomes the vigilante Red Hood.
Tim Drake
Bruce doesn’t find Tim, Tim finds Batman.
In the excellent 1989, A Lonely Place of Dying storyline by Marv Wolfman with art by George Perez and Jim Aparo, Tim Drake discovers Batman’s identity and becomes the third Robin. At that time, Tim still has both his parents.
Bruce becomes Tim’s guardian after a series of tragedies after Tim has already been Robin.
Damian Wayne
Appearing in the Batman and Son storyline by Grant Morrison and Andy Kubert, Daiman is the biological son of Bruce and Talia al Ghul (daughter of Ra's al Ghul).
When Bruce is first introduced to Damian, his son has already been extensively trained and raised by Talia al Ghul as a master assassin. It is a difficult relationship. Batman doesn’t have too much to teach his son, except how to be an honourable human (that’s quite a lot).
What can we learn from Batman? Probably a lot, but three things stand out:
One
A father’s view of his children is moulded by his own personal experience. In some instances, it is not the same experience as the child. What is for sure, is the child’s view will be different from the parent. Recognize those differences as much as you celebrate the similarities.
Two
Different child have different relationships with their father. They need different things. They arrive from different perspectives. Love each child the same. Respect each child is different.
Three
A father is a hero. He must try to live up to a standard he will never achieve. Forgive him is you can. Love him because he tried.
Happy Father’s Day
Pick up your Batman stories (good father vibes not guaranteed) :
Batman and Robin: The Hunt for Robin
(these are paid affiliate links and as an Amazon Associate I will earn a small income from qualifying purchases, but won’t cost you any more)
Thank you for the terrific post! Batman’s never been my favorite superhero (that place belongs to Superman), but I appreciate Batman a lot more since Damian appeared. I’ve always found stories that lean into Batman as a human being behind the cowl rather than just a grim avenger more fascinating. Applause from this comics fan and Dad for your three maxims at the end, especially #3!